Goodbyes Never Last Forever
by kayirishsprings
Summary: Bucky Barnes and OC. This story does contain violence and PSTD which is why I labeled it M.
1. Preface

_'Nobody ever wants to, but sometimes fate takes you in directions that you have no choice but to follow. It's a painful process, but sometimes it's for the best. Rather than cling on to the past, you must move forward and grow into a new person__. __It may take years to be able to reach that point, and it may only be a fleeting encounter, but goodbyes don't always have to last forever.' _

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Marvel characters or their plots but Amora Thorn is my own original character. Summary by Ben Avecilla.

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><p>My life was very simple. At the start of everyday I'd wake up, do my morning routine and then go to work. When work was over I would go home, eat a quick dinner, and then go to bed. This was how my life was 365 days out of the year. I didn't go out with guys or make plans with my colleges, I didn't have any hobby's that occupied my spare time nor any family to pester me about my day.<p>

In fact my life at this point was so meaningless that if I died today no one would miss me, not even my employers who I worked so diligently for would even register that I was gone. It was a sad life, I knew that but it was still my life. I chose this path and for good reasons yet some part of me knew that this simple life I had created couldn't last forever.

A new day would start and it would play out just like any other. I'd wake up at six in the morning to my completely simple bedroom. The word 'simple' was actually an understatement. Everything in my room, my whole apartment in fact, was only there because they were necessary. I had a twin sized bed made up with a single pillow and two sheets. The few articles of clothing I had were stored in a closet that was no bigger than my fridge and the adjoining bathroom had a sink, toilet, shower and few toiletries. The rest of my apartment was no different.

By seven I'd leave my apartment and walk a few blocks before stopping at the coffee shop. I'd order the same thing and leave. Walking only one more block down I would enter my workplace by eight. I was an accountant so I mostly balanced books and checked funds. There I stayed until nine at night and I'd pack up to leave. By ten o'clock pm I'd be back home to my boring apartment.

Nothing in the apartment was worth looking at. Even my walls were plain. I had no decorations or pictures hanging up on them. I didn't need any sort of reminders of the person I had once been, I didn't need pictures of a past life that I had single handedly destroyed, I needed to forget. Everyone needed to forget about Amora Thorn, but not everyone had.


	2. Chapter 1

A bell chimed as I walked into the coffee shop and the chilling breeze from outside followed me in. My fingertips were frozen to the bone and were practically begging to hold something warm. Shivering at the mixed warm and cold air, I drew my coat closer around myself and rubbed my naked hands together. I was never one to keep track of the date but I knew that winter was just around the corner.

Besides work and my little apartment this was the only place I visited on a daily basis. The coffee shop was small with a brown and cream color scheme. The furniture was nice as long as you didn't plan on sitting for more than half an hour and there was always this endless tune playing in the background. The place was local and on a busy street but it was never crowded, then again what place was crowded at seven in the morning. They served a decent cup of coffee and the people that worked here were always nice. They never asked anything more than 'How do you take your coffee' and 'How's your day going'. Like everything else in my life it was painfully normal.

The bitter smell of coffee beans wafted towards me, intensifying my craving for the hot liquid even more. Without any hesitation I made my way towards the line. It was short with a couple already standing off to the side. The man was tall with dirty blonde hair that was cut short in the back. My attention moved to the woman whom he had locked arms with. She giggled and then whispered something back to him casually. The woman was only a head shorter than the man yet was still average in height. Her hair was a straight golden blonde that stopped just below her shoulders. I couldn't really see her face but by the sound of her voice I could only assume she was pretty.

"I can help whosever's next." I looked over to see a petite brunette looking over at me expectantly. When the couple in front of me didn't move forward I slowly made my way up to the counter.

"Hello my name is Ellie," She tapped her pen to the nametag on her chest. "What can I get for you today?"

Out of habit I ordered, "Medium coffee with a little bit of cream."

She arched a thin brow, "Any sugar?"

"No thank you."

"Alrighty then I'll be out with it in just a minute." She jotted my order down on a piece of paper then scurried off into the back.

Frowning I glanced over at the coffee machine that was on the counter right beside me. Normally when I placed my order they would just reach under the countertop, grab a cheap paper mug, and fill it with coffee from the machine. In the two and a half years that I had been coming here they've never had to go into the back to make my coffee.

_Maybe this one's broken and their using a spare that's set up back there._ The thought seemed reasonable enough so calmly I waited at the counter for the woman's return. A minute passed by and I aimlessly started scratching my nails against the lining of my coat pockets. When five minutes passed I brushed it off assuming that maybe she was brewing a fresh cup but when it starting going on ten minutes I became nervous.

_They've found you,_ My body became tense at the idea but I shook it off. Tilting my head to the side I tried to catch a glimpse at where the woman had run off to but saw nothing. When I didn't see anyone popping their heads out from the back the hairs on the back of my neck started standing up. I turned my head to glance out the window and saw no one out there but then quickly reasoned that that was normal for this time of day.

_They've found you,_ I could feel my nervousness staring to grow into panic and I knew that I needed to calm myself down so I tried closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Slowly I exhaled but it did nothing to relax me. Knowing that panicking was just going to make matters worse I tried taking a deep breath in again.

_They know where you are, _I gave my head a shake and focused my attention on the counter as I tried to reason with myself. **_Nobody knows where I am. I've left no trail behind. No one can find me because I'm dead. Everyone thinks I'm dead. _**

_They're here,_ Nervously my fingertips started rubbing together. **_I'm dead. They couldn't have found me. I've been dead for years._**

_They're here,_ I could feel it starting to build up inside of me. If I kept panicking I was going to lose control and I had promised myself years ago that I would never let that happen again. I started praying for Ellie to walk out from the back with my coffee in hand and some simple excuse as to why she had had to go back there in the first place. I started wishing that I had some kind of anxiety medication because I was pretty sure I needed to be on some. And for godsakes I really wished the couple behind me would start making some kind of noise because it being eerie quiet in here was not helping.

_They're here, _My back straightened instantly as I thought about the couple that hadn't made a sound since I walked in front of them. A couple whose faces I hadn't gotten a good glimpse of because their backs had always been towards me and now they were both right behind me, breathing down my neck.

**_They're here!_**

There was a click and suddenly I was facing the woman. She was pretty. Her features were soft and her blonde hair framed her face perfectly. Everything about her looked innocent expect for her hard brown eyes and sleek revolver.

"Stay calm and everything will be fine." She said smoothly enough that my shoulders actually relaxed a notch even though her gun was pointing right at my heart. I was in such a state of shock that my body just froze and for a moment nobody moved.

The man sided himself with the woman. "Sorry about this," He stared at the weapon in his companions hands. "We didn't know how to approach you but I can assure you that we just want to talk."

Something about his face seemed oddly familiar but I couldn't quiet place where I had seen it before. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something flash underneath his coat. As soon as I saw it everything that I had been trying so desperately to keep locked away broke free.

My powers surged to the forefront of my mind and with them came the rage and bloodlust that I had feared. I quickly raised my hands and mentally threw the woman across the shop. Her gun went off when she slammed into a table. I felt a sting on my upper arm and instinctively I raised a shield around myself for protection.

The man cursed before coming at me. He reached into his coat to grab something but before he got his weapon or reached me I fisted my hand up in front of him and swung it to the side. He went flying into the nearby wall and then I swung my arm to the other side, sending him into the opposite wall.

A bullet ricocheted off of my shield. I turned back to see the woman standing up with a stream of blood running down her forehead and her gun pointing at me. Dropping the man I quickly moved my hands towards the woman and forced a shield around her. Slowly I made her shield smaller until she was pressed against its walls. I kept squeezing it tighter until her eyes were wide with fear and her perfectly formed lips were parted in a soundless scream.

If I added anymore pressure her body would break. Well actually I knew that it was much more gruesome than that. First her skin would rip around her arms, legs and back and then her bones would shatter into a million tiny shards. With her bones no longer intact her intestines would go next. They'd be so squished together that they would start hemorrhaging blood, and that would quickly build up inside of her until it came gushing out of her nose and mouth.

Most people died after their bones were broken, a shard would embed itself into one of their vital organs and depending on the organ they'd be dead before the rest of their body was crushed. But if by some unlikely chance that didn't happen then they would most likely experience it all until the very end.

Movement caught my attention and I looked over at the man who was picking himself up out of the rubble. I frowned at him. When people went through two walls they normally didn't get back up. He looked over at the woman, realized what I was doing to her and quickly reached into his jacket. Instead of pulling out a weapon he brought out a shield. Before I could think more about it he threw it at me.

When it collided with my own shield I flinched at the booming noise it made. The man caught his weapon midair and came at me again only this time when he hit my defenses I felt something crack. My eyes widened as I stared at him. My defenses could stand against a wide range of arsenals ranging from guns to bombs and here the man was breaking it down with a damn Frisbee.

I yanked one of my hands away from the woman and bond the man in a shield. He was trapped for now but I knew it couldn't last very long and throwing him into walls didn't seem to work on him. I needed to crush him but I couldn't with just one hand and if I let the woman go she would shot at my already weakened shield. Feeling trapped I tried looking around for something I could use but saw nothing.

"Amora" In that moment everything froze. My racing heart beat came to a stuttering halt in my chest, breathing stopped, body locked up, mind completely wiped blank and just when I felt like a total statue the memories of that voice came slamming back. Us together at camp joking around after hours, sharing our fears and discussing our dreams, pushing the other to do their best, having each other's backs on missions, we had become more than friends and closer than family. The three of us had been the perfect team; Sam, Riley and I. Until I screwed everything up.

"Let them go," Sam warned from behind me. I didn't hesitate at the order, I just dropped them and turned around to a man I hadn't thought I'd see ever again.

For a while all I could do was stare at him in disbelief. In the two and a half years we had been apart he honestly hadn't changed. His expression had always been soft, as if he were about to break out in a laugh at any moment, but his eyes told me how serious he was, disappointed. Shame filled me at how I had let my powers get the best of me yet again and I had to look away from him.

"Sure took your time." The man with the shield watched me wearily. "We could have used you."

Sam gave him a smile. "I was entertaining the coffee girl and after I heard you all fighting I thought it would be better to get her out of the building, besides you wanted to see what she was capable of. Now you know."

"Thanks for the heads up by the way." The woman picked up her gun but didn't holster it. She swiped at the blood on her forehead then flicked it off her fingers as if it were sweat. "If I had known I would have brought something a little bigger."

"If you had, it still wouldn't have worked." The man said to his companion then looked back at Sam with a glare. "I don't think she's the 'kind' of reinforcement we need."

Sam made his way out from behind the counter, "I've worked with her for years Cap, and I'm telling you she's exactly what we're missing."

_Cap as in Captain?_ I pondered the abbreviation over in my head as my gaze wondered to the shield the man was carrying and for first time I noticed the red and blue circles around a big white star. _C__aptain as in Captain America?_

"Shit," I cursed under my breath and luckily no one seemed to hear me. If Sam was working with Captain America that would mean that he was still working for the government.

Sam started towards me and the closer he got the more ridged I became. When he finally stopped there were only a couple of feet left between us. "We need your help."

Shaking my head I slowly met his gaze. "I can't."

"Yes you can, Amora." He drew out my name. "I really need your help on this."

"I went to great lengths to disappear and you think I want to go back, just like that?" I snapped, "You know what I did Sam. I can't go back and work for those people again. I just can't."

"But we aren't working with the military. There's no hidden agenda or outranking officers here to boss you around. It's just us and we're here for a very personal reason." When I didn't say anything he let out a sigh and took a step closer. "I saw your apartment Amora, you've sentenced yourself to a prison for something that wasn't your fault."

"You know damn well it was my fault." I cried and took a threaten step towards him. "Riley died because of me."

"An RPG killed him, not you." The look in his eyes told me that he truly believed that and I had to shake my head at him. "I lost one friend that night, not two and now I'm asking you as a friend for help."

The thing was I didn't want to help. I knew that if I did some form of government would figure out that I was alive and want me in their ranks. Then before I'd know it I'd be back in action doing the same things all over again, but Sam had asked me for help. Worse actually he had tracked me down for my help and when he found me he had the nerve to call me his friend. I should feel horrified by that statement and yet I was happy. Even though I had done something unforgivable he still saw me as his friend and for that I would do what he asked.

"Fine," I sighed and folded my arms over my chest then glanced over at his companions. "What do you need me for?"

Captain America rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm looking for an old friend."

"I'm not much of a tracker."

The Captain nodded his head at the woman standing by his side. "That's what Agent Carter is for. Sam thought that you might be more useful for holding him down without hurting him."

Puzzled I asked, "I thought he was just you're friend."

The Captain winced at that. "He doesn't really remember who I am."

"Okay," I looked them all over, "I don't think I'm following."

"This organization known as Hydra captured him and then brainwashed him into forgetting everything about himself. They've been using him as an assassin until recently when we brought down a part of their organization. Now we're trying to find him before whatever's left of Hydra forces does." Sam informed.

Thanking him with a quick nod I turned back to the Captain. "Okay so let's say we track him down and capture him, what then?"

"I just want to talk with him. Help him remember who he was and who I am."

"What if he doesn't remember?"

"Now that he's free from Hyrda they can't mess with his mind anymore. He was already starting to remember me and as long as we find him before they do, he'll slowly begin to remember everything." The Captain stated determinedly.

Understanding that this was an important time sensitive mission I nodded to show that I understood but still felt the need to know a little but more about this 'friend' that we were hunting down. "Besides being an assassin who exactly is this guy we're going after?"

Agent Carter stepped forward and slowly placed her gun back in its holster. "He's called the Winter Solider."

"He's called Bucky." Captain America snapped at her. "He was born in Indiana, and grew up in Brooklyn. We've been friends since childhood. Now are you in or not?"

I stiffened at his hardened tone but nodded none the less, "When do we start?"

"Immediately."


	3. Chapter 2

After I agreed to help them the Captain had made quick work of hurrying us into a sleek new SUV parked just two blocks away, and from there we started on a very long road trip. At first everything was silent as Cap drove and I took that as a sign that maybe he and Agent Carter didn't know how to brief me more about the mission, but as time dragged on I realized that they weren't planning on bringing it back up.

Few details had been explained to me about the Captain's friend and even fewer about how we were going to go about finding him. My gaze wondered over to passenger seat where Agent Carter sat and I remembered that tracking him down was her job. They just needed me to contain him and if that was truly all they required of me then my job would be over quickly enough and then I could go back to my boring little hobble of a town.

Wanting to get this mission over as soon as possible I quickly asked about the first thing that popped into my head, "So you said that this Bucky character has been friends with you since childhood, does that mean that it's safe to assume that he's been around since World War II?"

Captain America stared at me through mirror before for a second before he flicked his eyes back down to the road. "Yea,"

"He's pretty old then." I stated more to myself than to him.

"He is but he doesn't look it."

I cocked my brow at him when he didn't going into detail. "How so?"

The Captain notched his chin a little higher as he changed lanes. "Between missions the KGB and Hydra used to put him in cryostasis."

_They froze him!_ My mouth fell open in my utter astonishment. I hadn't even known that it was real much less actually practiced. Cataloging that bit of information away for another time I asked another pressing question. "So he looks like he did back in the 1940's?"

"Not exactly." This time it was Agent Carter who had answered. She bent forward to open the glove compartment and pulled out a file. Once she had it she turned around to hand it to me. "They didn't train him to be an assassin, they made him into one."

Clipped to the cover of the file was an old photo with a name scribbled on the bottom. Sargent James Buchannan Barnes. I smiled slightly at the picture as I looked it over. The first thing I noticed about him was his smile. It was lopsided and cocky, the kind of easy going confident smile that only a man could make. I looked over the rest of his face and realized that he was actually very handsome, and with that grin I could only assume that he had been quiet the ladies' man back in his day.

Without hesitating I opened the file and what I saw inside floored me. There were formulas for some kind of super serum, blueprints of a machine that could wipe a person's mind, and schematics for a cybernetic arm. _They removed his arm!_ I felt my stomach turn as I continued looking through the file.

There were some documents that were written in Russian and if it hadn't been for the translated notes that someone had scribbled down on the side of the paragraphs I would have been lost. Some of those documents were about the missions he had gone on while others were charts from all the experiments he'd been through. Each one was detailed and each one made my stomach turn. I couldn't decide what was more disturbing, what they had done to him or what they had made him do.

Being in the military made you tough and having the ability to crush people's bodies into soup made you even more so, but what they had done to Sargent James Barnes horrified me. At this point I didn't know whether to be scared or sorry for him.

My hands were shaking as I closed his file and at first I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with it now that I was done reading it over but then I found myself drawn to his small military photo on the front. He was still there with that cocky smile on his face and I realized something then. I had agreed to this mission because Sam had asked me for help but now I just generally wanted to help him. After all that this guy had been through didn't he deserve to get his old life back, to remember his childhood friend, to make his own decisions, and just live?

I don't know how long I sat there just staring at his picture but when I finally lifted my head up and looked out the window I saw the Lincoln Memorial. _Why the hell are we in Washington DC._ When a hand tapped my on the shoulder I'm embarrassed to say that I jumped a little.

"You okay?" Sam asked before leaning down to look out my window.

Waving him off I took a deep breath to collect myself. "I'm fine I just didn't realize where we were until now."

He smiled back at me before looking back out my window. "Been a while since you've been here right?"

"It has." I sighed before glancing back outside. The trees had already started to shed for the winter and the ground was covered in their colorful leaves. I could hear Agent Carter talking away on her phone but to me it was just background noise as I stared at the scenery.

When she clipped her phone shut and started directing Steve on where to go I understood that that phone call had been important. "Take a left up here and park the car. I don't think we should be to close."

As soon as the car was parked they both flew out of the car. Both Sam and I looked at each other before following suit. "Something wrong?" I asked before Agent Carter could pass us.

She ignored me and looked at Sam. "Where's the Falcon?"

He hitched his thumb to the car. "In the back."

"Put it on." Sam didn't hesitate and before I could ask her anything she slid her phone out of her pocket and lifted it up to her face. Whoever had called her must have been important because her back straightened automatically as if she were speaking to someone with a higher command. "Yes sir I understand and it won't happen again, thank you sir."

Agent Carter locked eyes with me as she shoved her phone back into her pocket. "What kind of firearm do you use?"

I frowned in confusion. "I've never had a need for them."

She nodded in understanding. "Are you set then?"

"For what?"

She seemed aggravated now. "The mission."

I felt my eyes widen in shock. We hadn't discussed anything about it in the car so I had been under the impression that this mission was going to take place later on in the month…this week at the earliest but defiantly not this minute. "Already?"

She made a face at me before quickly masking it over with something more professional and then made her way to the open door of the SUV. "I had a friend in the CIA running facial recognition software. They hacked into every camera or satellite you can think of and by some miracle got a hit on James Barnes."

Understanding Bucky and James Barnes were one in the same and that this was indeed a miracle I came up beside her to help move the seats in the SUV back. "Will they be after him as well?"

She shook her head. "Only three agencies know that he exists; the KGB, Hydra, and SHIELD."

I recognized the names. Bucky's file had mentioned Hydra but that was about it. The KGB had been a well-known agency for the Soviet Union but they had collapsed back in 1991 and as far as I knew had never recovered. SHIELD on the other hand I knew fairly well. During my time in the military SHIELD agents had visited me often and asked me to join them on quite a few occasions. If I hadn't already become friends with Sam and Riley I would have gone with them.

"So you just got this friend of yours to look him up and what? They didn't ask any questions."

"They did so I told them that he was embezzling money from my father's company and that we had found evidence that he was trying to leave the country. They flagged the photo I gave them and he got pushed right up to the top of the list." She smiled then. A quick cunning smile that told me that she was proud of the move she had made.

We both lifted up the floor where the seats had been to reveal a small armory. "So who was that on the phone?"

"My boss telling me not to use CIA intelligence for personal affairs."

I let out a dry laugh then. "Really? He just gave you a slap on the wrist and that's it?"

Carter pulled off her coat and sweatshirt then strapped into a bulletproof vest. "Well I'm kind of like a trophy wife to them."

Noticing a small navy knife I picked it and looked it over. "How so?" I asked as I strapped the knife onto my upper thigh.

She slipped back into her clothes and grabbed a few other essentials. "I used to work for SHIELD."

Holding a newfound respect for the agent I gave her a nod then handed her some ammo that she in turn placed in her coat pocket. After she was finished arming herself we closed up the armory and pulled the seats back.

I was about to get out of the car when I felt her hand on my elbow. She didn't speak until I was looking back at her. "What are your powers exactly?"

_That's classified information._ The words were right there, on the tip of my tongue. They had been drilled into me until my answer had become automatic. Now I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying that and remind myself that I wasn't in the military anymore. "Telekinesis."

She nodded slightly, "I gathered that much but what about that thing you had me in? It felt like I was in a bubble until started getting smaller."

I shrugged my shoulders, "I suppose it's still a form of telekinesis but I'm not really sure. To tell you the truth once I found out that I could use it both as a shield and as a weapon I didn't really care."

"Is there a limit?" She had asked the question pleasantly enough but still my body stiffened. I did have a limit but frankly I didn't know this woman and giving away that kind of information could be hazardous.

Thankfully I didn't have to come up with some bogus answer because not even a second later the Captain was poking his head around the door. "You ladies ready?"

"We're locked and loaded." Agent Carter emphasized by pushing her coat to the side and displaying one of the guns strapped onto her thigh.

"Yeah," I agreed and slipped out of the car.

He gave a curt nod. "You said that your friend found him with a surveillance cam on the corner of New Hampshire Ave and 24th street?"

"He was heading east." She informed.

"That's three streets down from where we are now." Sam cut in. Automatically my eyes were drawn to the humongous backpack that he had strapped on.

Something snapped and all of a sudden I was back in the military. The continuous noise of explosions and gunfire left my ears constantly ringing. Dust stuck to my face like a second skin. My uniform and body armor were weighing me down so much so that the stich in my side was throbbing painfully. I reached down to try and easy the pain but felt something wet. Pulling my hand away I looked down to see the deep rusty color of blood. I'd been shot.

"Amora," I felt hands on my shoulder shaking me gently. My breathing was labored and sweat was beading down my forehead. Panic was setting in and I knew that I needed to calm down. Looking up I slowly began to focus on the dark face that was quietly calling my name. His smooth brown eyes were what grounded me, they were so warm and friendly that I couldn't help but relax.

I gave my head a quick shake and wiped the sweat off of my brow. "Sorry," I muttered embarrassedly to them and kept my eyes locked on the ground.

"Do you need a second?" Sam asked slowly rubbed my shoulders in a brotherly manner.

"No," I stepped out of his reach and looked up at the team. "Sorry where were we?"

"Positions." Agent Carter answered a little softer than usual.

Steve quickly gave the run down again. "I'll go down to 1st street and run alongside it, Sam's going to cut across and take 26th. Carter I want you on 25th and Thorn you've got 24th to 22nd. If you spot him I want to know immediately and absolutely nobody engages him."

"Why the weapons then?" I curiously asked.

Agent Carter quickly answered. "It's in case we come across any Hydra agents."

"Hydra?" I asked. "You said something about them before and they were briefly mentioned in James' file but who are the exactly?"

Sam tightened the straps of his backpack and pulled a pair of goggles out of his pocket. "It's too long of a story to get into right now so here's a quick rundown. Hydra wants their solider back really badly so they're not going to go easy on you just because you're a girl. Their agents are highly skilled and ruthless add that together with their weapons and it's downright scary."

"Awesome." I groaned before getting my head back in the game. "Okay so what was he last seen wearing?"

"A jacket and a baseball cap. He has some light facial hair now but he'll most likely keep his head down and his left arm concealed."

"What are we using for communication?" I ran my hand through my hair to fluff it out a bit more then zipped up my jacket.

Agent Carter turned back to the car and reached into one of the pockets. She tossed me a flip phone that was similar to hers. "If you see him press one, that'll give you a direct line to Steve. Make the call under a minute then ditch the phone. If Hydra's out there I don't want them picking up on anything. Follow him but again don't engage him. The last thing we want to do is spook him."

I shoved the phone into my pocket then asked a question that I had been dreading. "If he runs?"

Steve looked over at the Agent before they both nodded their heads in agreement. "Capture him."


End file.
